Alone and Cold

This picture says it all. It describes exactly how I have felt the past two weeks. I have just been cold in the inside longing for warmth and comfort.  Cold literally and spiritually. I have been sick for the past two weeks but the past few days have knocked me out. I took this picture a few days ago and had no idea how accurately it would apply to me. My remedy was sleep and more sleep. You would think this 37 year old would know what too much sleep does to my mind and my soul. I fall into a depression.  Sure I pray and I read His word but the deeper and deeper I fall. I think it is genetic. I remember my grandmother in the end of her years sleeping more and more. I saw what it did to her emotions. I see the same in my mom when she deals with hard times. So here I am a girl falling into abyss. My thoughts become consumed with negative energy. "WHY AM I LAZY?" "WHAT DOES THIS MAN SEE IN ME?" "WHY HASNT A FRIEND CHECKED ON ME?" "IS THERE MORE THAN THIS?" "WHEN WILL MY KIDS SEE THE REAL ME AND SEE I AM NOT THE BEST?" It is like a sledgehammer damaging my mind with each blow. 

Then with the grace of God the fog disappears and I can breathe the truth in again. I had to take a long by myself radio blasting drive to figure it all out. "I AM NOT ALONE!!!!" He is with me and through Him anything is possible. I realize all of those doubting questions are irrelevant because I am too blessed beyond words with the ones who love me. 

I pray these past few days are fleeting and that they dont make my acquaintance again. I pray that I take care of my mind, body, and soul so the deep sleep never comes again.  I pray that I stay steadfast in His Word and it consumes the madness with light and energy. 

The passage that rescued me:

"Praise be to the God and our Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer." 2 Corinthians 1:3-6

In love and faith,

Kristie