Well trust me it is so much worse hearing those same things over and over again. Of course they are offered in the sincerest ways but sometimes a nice honest "This really sucks!!!!" makes it a lot better. I guess that is where true honest friendship comes in to play.
I say this because the past week I have heard a repetitive theme in the Christian social media world. "You are enough!" {I am pretty sure that I myself have said this in the past but that isn't important.} The women of Christian leadership have been able to funnel this message to many because they see the despair in our eyes. In a world where we compare our life to others through Instagram posts and Facebook feed how could we not be? Social media isn't all to blame either. Somewhere along the way us women (and a many men) have devalued ourselves through comparison to others whom we don't even know. Calling it "keeping up with the Jones' " or what have you but it is definitely true. Whether it be PTA, kids' birthday parties, church functions, and/or dinner out with the girls; the truth remains that many of us just don't feel like we can bring anything to the table. Some talk constantly of money to cover up the fear of talking about Christ. Some talk about Christ to cover up the sin they are hiding. Some only discuss the perfection of their children to hide the rubble of their marriage. And then some talk about the joy of motherhood when they are too scared to say, "This really sucks sometimes!!"
I can picture sitting at a table now and envisioning each of these women and sadly seeing myself in more than one of these chairs. Brutal honesty is so hard especially when it is coming from your mouth.
I definitely applaud the encouragers out there trying to give us a boost. There is a huge support system being generated around the world letting me and you know that we am enough for anyone. Sincerely I do appreciate it.
Unfortunately I don't believe it anymore. I am simply not enough. Never will be. Now wait for it...you aren't either. You want to hear the crazy thing?? It is the sweetest release you can ever know.
There is a reason for our deficiency. A very reasonable excuse. We will never have enough "God" in us to make us whole. To make us exactly what everybody else needs us to be. God would literally have to take over your body and throw you out to be enough for this world.
I am going to fall short on every level of my life and knowing and understanding that finally has seriously released me in some way.
It is no secret that over the past year I have been laden with guilt over how I have failed EVERYBODY with my sinful choices. I honestly don't know if it is something I will get over. It also generated this false truth that because of that baggage I can never be enough again for the people around me. I will never be enough for my children, my friends, my employer, my family, my church, and most definitely my husband. I held on to this notion so tightly that I began rationalizing how it is okay for any of the above mentioned people to abandon me. Especially my husband. I was giving them an easy out for a relationship that I was certain that they didn't want to be in anyway. Unfortunately some of the above listed took the easy out but then A LOT didn't. They hung around and the ones whom I hold closest to my heart would whisper "This really sucks!!"
Now I am shaking my brain in disbelief thinking I was ever enough for my kids or my husband or anyone else. As if I was on a pedestal of awesomeness and perfection and just happened to slip off.
Silly silly naive woman.
God is so glorious and so magnificent that nothing you can bring to the table will ever be enough. Not for Him and not for others. And that my friends is okay. The Holy Spirit supplements what we lack. He instills in us riches that we could never hold in our hand.
" For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom ever family in heaven and on earth is names, that according to the riches of his glory may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19
Can I get an Amen? Do you hear that? Only through faith can we be filled. Only through God's love and mercy for us can we overflow with the feeling of being enough.Still then remember it isn't us that is enough but God's unwavering love for us that makes us fill full.
That my friends is what you bring to the table. No one around you is so much better that they didn't need Jesus Christ to die on the cross for them. We are uniquely and beautifully made with individual purpose to glorify God's will. Use that undeniable truth as your shield when you feel you lack anything or everything. This week you will probably feel not good enough for your kids as you do their crazy homework. You will feel not good enough for your spouse when he doesn't return your affection or attention.You will feel not good enough in a room full of strangers who are reading from the same Bible as you. That is okay because you have God! Please please don't shy away from that simple yet amazing truth.
Maybe you aren't enough......but God most definitely is.
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9
With endless love,
Kristie
