Wednesday, April 2, 2014

There you are

I usually force my way in, crashing the lights on, pulling back the curtains, and forcing happiness in a tired voice. Not today. Not this morning. Not this time. Today I tip toed in and took it all in. I bent down and pulled back the covers trying to find that perfect face. There you are. I come across your hands first. Those beautiful sweet fingers and I pray that a million times plus some that those hands will come together in prayer and praise to our God. I pray those hands catch a thousand footballs, never physically harm another, caress the one and only love of your life, and hold many precious babies. I then find and gaze into that glorious face. That face right now that is eyes tight closed begging for a few more minutes of sweet dreaming. I know every freckle and every spark in those ocean eyes that make you my little twin. I pray those eyes see only pure, kind, amazing images that our Father has to offer you. I plead you never see the ugly in this world but when you ultimately do; may your heart swell with compassion and love for all of the afflicted and the ones causing pain. I pray to be around to see your face light up when you score your touchdowns, accomplish school tasks, meet your soul mate, and welcome your children into this world. I then gravitate my hand toward your heart. There it is. That beating. That strength. That life force. And I pray. Pray that all the hurt, all the happiness, and all the other never change this pure heart. Hoping that you will be a John of this world never leaving your Lord's side.  May the Holy Spirit guard it and never allow anything or anyone ever take it over. I gaze up into the heavens to pray for you more but then there YOU are.
The little bitty chaos that makes this world make sense. The little sister who has to be nestled in the same bunk beds as her brother to feel protected. You too are wrapped in the safety of blankets, pillows, and endless stuffed animals. I see that one toe peeking out first. Then I pray. I pray that those feet allow you to skip joyfully in this life. May they be light in your walk as your Father carries you through it all. May they dance a million times over whether it be recitals, school dances, the father/daughter dance at your wedding, and tons of twirling with all of your daughters. Your face is so full of light and hope that I immediately have to look at it. There is that smile. Even in your sleep you smile. I pray those lips kiss me endlessly and always whisper I love you even when we are gray haired women laughing at stories of your motherhood. I pray that smile blooms when your love for singing takes course, when you fall into a hundred crushes,  when you finally say "I do", and when you kiss a million boo boos. I pray that even in dark times that smile stays firm and vigilant knowing that good is in everything. Then I find that heartbeat. There it is. That beating. That strength. That life force. And then I pray. I pray that with every beat you come closer to your dreams and to following the will of God. I pray that the nurturing and sympathy that tightens your heart now over someone's tears will continue to have passion for all things and all people. I pray that you will listen to your heart. Listen to the call of God as it beats in you; guiding you to a beautiful truthful life. I pray your heart is more truthful than mine, more trusting than mine, and more loving than mine. I pray that your heart connects to a lover and then connects to the beginning of new life and new hearts formed inside you. I pray that you become a Mary of this world never leaving the side of your Teacher and keeping faithful when all seems lost.
All these things I pray. Then I crash the lights on, pull back the curtains, and speak happiness from a thankful and blessed mother.
In love and faith,
Kristie

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