Sunday, April 27, 2014

Super Mom (minus the m)

I had planned on writing this entry on Friday because it was a great day. It was one of those rainbow and butterfly days where everything was aligned just perfectly. I planned on talking about the greatness of the word "mommy". How it gives us purpose in this chaotic world we make for ourselves.
But let's face it; few of my days could every be classified as rainbow and butterfly days. Friday came and went in a whirlwind of happy voices and a lovely family date night. Then came in Saturday like a tornado. Full of late for soccer games, hurt tummies, arguments after arguments, no toilet paper anywhere in the whole house, and all the messes and spills in between. If Nickolas said the sky was blue then Jocie thought it was purple. If Jocie thought the grass was green, Nickolas was sure it was red. Yeah that kind of day. I am sure there isn't a mommy out there who can relate.
So here I am writing this entry in my car at the park. Philly came home and I gifted him with a peck on the cheek and two grumbling kids. I am spent. Tired of this day and tired of these ups and downs that I have created.
When Nickolas came home after school Thursday he immediately went to work on a secret project. 30 minutes I received this masterpiece. He said he had the idea all day long while he was learning shapes and thought I was a super mom. He purposefully left out a m in mommy because he thought the number of letters at top should match the number at the bottom. Ah a child after my own heart!
While I totally discredit the "super" portion of this art; I am in love with the mommy part. It really is the greatest word I can ever hear. Wether it comes from a happy cuddly voice or a tearful voice it is still pretty darn fantastic. I secretly hope that word never mutates into the "mom" form. Yuck! (I still at the age of 38 say "mommy" to my own mommy.)
My heart has been so saddened by so many things that have happened this week and they all involve tales of mommies. One started her first chemo treatment. One took her son for his 4 year old wellness visit to hear the words tumor and cancer immediately after. One got a call from her daughter who is a mommy to say that her 3 year old has also been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. One mommy right now is lying in a hospital bed suffering from pneumonia and blood clots from cancer as you read this. Oh how that sweet awesome word brings heavy commitment, enduring love, and sometimes deathly heartbreak.
Then there are the other mommies who have no care for their children our concern for their well-being. There are  mommies out there like me who try to be amazing caretakers but somehow lose sight of their children's needs and place selfish ambitions in front of them.
The world is full of mommies and you are priceless. You were created for a purpose and God entrusted life unto your hands. Soak in that word my friends. Soak it in on rainbow and butterfly days and then again on cloudy stormy days. Let your children know how that word makes you feel. Sometimes I want to keep track and count every time I hear it. I want to remember every memory associated with it. The ones that make me smile and the ones that have me blowing my hair out of my face, waving my hands in the air, and wondering what I am going to find when I find that voice that called out to me.
Let's face it our days are already numbered and so are the times we hear that word. For whatever reason our mommy status could be fleeting. I weep thinking if in the next year or so I could be imprisoned and not hear that word. Will it be a day, a month, 6 months, my God a year or more? What will I do? Who will they call out to? Tears are dripping down my face not just for selfish me but for all the super moms (minus a m or not) who are out there just battling with life. I pray for you, I adore you, I respect you, and trust me my sister I get you.
With endless love,
Kristie

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