I have fallen in love with the Bible. Can I say that without sounding fake or snooty? The Word of God had brought new life and new understanding for this once confused and lost girl.
Insight is a truly freeing experience.
I have always admired John The Baptist. The man paving the way for the ultimate attraction whose name was Jesus. It always seemed to me he was the opening act getting everybody revved up. "Hey you think this is something? Just wait and see what this next guy is going to do?"
The cool thing about John is he was ok with that role. He wasn't traveling the roads from gig to gig to get noticed. No. He was satisfied in bringing the crowds in and promising them a better show, a better way, a better life was to come.
In John 3:30 John tells the people for Him to become greater then he needs to be less."
Me being the person who had no clue that every word, every action, every period and comma was meant for me was blinded to the fact that I am the one to be less so my God can be MORE!!!
I assumed it was John just saying I don't mind getting the glory and hiding in the shadows just as long as my Lord gets noticed. Yet even as ancient as those written words are they were exactly for me.
I have held this verse closely after reading about it in Love Idol.
I am to be less. My life is to be less. The "things" are to be less. Anything holding me away, or anyone for that matter, from the brilliance of our Father needs to be diminished. A fire that is to be extinguished so the breathe of God can fill the air.
So what exactly do I need to lessen?
Any desire that I hold onto which can make me feel better or more fulfilled. The desire to be loved. The wanting of forgiveness from human hearts. The hopes of not being judged by anyone. The need of being respected and held in high regard.
Then there is the anxiety that crushes me on certain days. The moments when I am completely overwhelmed and instantly drowning in darkness over circumstances that I have never and never will be able to control.
The worry of yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
The materials of this world that tell people I have succeeded.
The doubting of my own self as I ponder will I every be good enough again? A good mom, a good worker, a good friend, a good wife, a good follower of Christ.
These things, all of these things, have become idols in my life. There have been many a time when these things have stopped me dead in my tracks. They have and still do take precedence over the TRUTH.
I am greatly loved. Forgiven. Perfectly made with a purpose. Perfumed with the grace of God. Granted an inheritance that no earthly wealth can compare too.
Insight is a truly freeing experience.
I have always admired John The Baptist. The man paving the way for the ultimate attraction whose name was Jesus. It always seemed to me he was the opening act getting everybody revved up. "Hey you think this is something? Just wait and see what this next guy is going to do?"
The cool thing about John is he was ok with that role. He wasn't traveling the roads from gig to gig to get noticed. No. He was satisfied in bringing the crowds in and promising them a better show, a better way, a better life was to come.
In John 3:30 John tells the people for Him to become greater then he needs to be less."
Me being the person who had no clue that every word, every action, every period and comma was meant for me was blinded to the fact that I am the one to be less so my God can be MORE!!!
I assumed it was John just saying I don't mind getting the glory and hiding in the shadows just as long as my Lord gets noticed. Yet even as ancient as those written words are they were exactly for me.
I have held this verse closely after reading about it in Love Idol.
I am to be less. My life is to be less. The "things" are to be less. Anything holding me away, or anyone for that matter, from the brilliance of our Father needs to be diminished. A fire that is to be extinguished so the breathe of God can fill the air.
So what exactly do I need to lessen?
Any desire that I hold onto which can make me feel better or more fulfilled. The desire to be loved. The wanting of forgiveness from human hearts. The hopes of not being judged by anyone. The need of being respected and held in high regard.
Then there is the anxiety that crushes me on certain days. The moments when I am completely overwhelmed and instantly drowning in darkness over circumstances that I have never and never will be able to control.
The worry of yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
The materials of this world that tell people I have succeeded.
The doubting of my own self as I ponder will I every be good enough again? A good mom, a good worker, a good friend, a good wife, a good follower of Christ.
These things, all of these things, have become idols in my life. There have been many a time when these things have stopped me dead in my tracks. They have and still do take precedence over the TRUTH.
I am greatly loved. Forgiven. Perfectly made with a purpose. Perfumed with the grace of God. Granted an inheritance that no earthly wealth can compare too.
I have used this blog as a way to shout out my true repentance and grief to only selfishly hope that PEOPLE can forgive, understand, and foster me in my desire to not feel alone.
These past few weeks I have continued to rest and abide in Him. Still writing everyday but only to Him. Loving on my children, family, and friends in such an intense yet private way. Trying not to exploit what is perceived as fake happiness. Taking one step in front of another and crashing, breaking, stomping on every idol along the way.
I try daily to make it less about what can I do to make things right again but more about how can I grow and thrive in this relationship with my God.
Each day is a new day. I start all over again. We start all over again. Each of us trying to lessen the hurt, the anger, the sins, the desires, and the other idols that bondage our life.
How did you do today? Did you succeed or did it all falter by lunch? I didn't even get the car cranked yet before I was consumed by a few of those pesky idols.
I can't wait for the day that I am so small in my own ego that all I ever see is God and His goodness, love, and mercy for me.
I pray this makes sense to the ones who need it and the ones who truly believe in my words. I am shocked each day when I see the ones reading this. I realize some are the false followers trying to find holes in an already shaky testimony. I get that. Breaking news for you!!!! I am going to fail and fall about a million more times so don't worry about missing my downfalls. But those of you that sincerely take this all in and understand it...I love you!!! This is real and you, I, we are not alone in this walk of rehabilitation.
We have a great journey ahead. Just wait!!
Pray with me as a community of followers that every moment when an idol puts us in a choke hold that we have the power and foresight to increase our focus on our Father. Let us be less important so He gets all the praise throughout our days.
With endless love,
Kristie
Kristie
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