With all of this extra time on my hands I have been able to do a lot of reading on Lent this past week. This religious act has always intrigued me but this ol Baptist girl doesn't know a lot about it. I just knew it started on Ash Wednesday and was right before Easter. I also knew that many people choose to give up something for 40 days to honor Jesus.
I have to say I find it pretty captivating. The idea of sacrificing something you "need" or desire to represent what Jesus sacrificed for us. I then began to ask around and see what my peeps were giving up. Chocolate, coffee, tv, and the usual things we need to just make it on a daily basis. One friend said she was going a different path this year and going to do 40 acts of kindness which I LOVED.
So I have been thinking of what would I sacrifice? Now the realist in me realizes that I am too mentally unstable right now to give up coke. No worry on giving up food since I can't keep an appetite. I mean at this point let's just be thankful I don't smoke because I have so much anxiety. I couldn't dare give up my writing since that is they only thing keeping me sane. So I decided to take a different approach and give up something emotional.
WORRY....... The vain of my existence right now. There isn't one second that my mind and heart aren't in a constant battle about what is happening to me now, tomorrow, next week, next year, etc. Worrying about what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I am going to do. It is literally driving me crazy and it is keeping me from my Lord. So I give up worry for 40 days. (That makes me worry just saying that.)
You see I have been trying to imagine the worries of our Father before his crucifixion. If anyone had the right to worry wouldn't it be Him? Not only just thinking about His own death but carrying the weight of all of our sins on His shoulders. Every prayer and every plea to God in those final days was for us. WAS FOR ME!!!! Now my Savior wasn't worried about how Kristie was going to pay her bills. He was worried about my salvation. Everyone's salvation. Then he sacrificed His own life for ours.
So for 40 days I am letting it go. My worry is keeping me from trusting in Him. No more worry. Not about what job I am going to find. Not about what penance I am going to have to pay for my sin. No worry about how we are going to pay our bills this next month. No worries on what people are thinking about me. I am not going to worry about if they forgive me now will they judge me later. No worry about the ones who think I can't really be a true Christian because of what I did. No worries about the ones who believe my sudden desire to share God's word is because I got caught. I just can't keep worrying. My life is beyond blessed because of Him and my 40 day sacrifice is to constantly believe that His sacrifice is all that I need.
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they.....But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:25-34
In faith and love,
Kristie
No comments:
Post a Comment