As I entered the bible study on Wednesday I was drenched with anxiety. I don't do well with new people and when you feel like you are dragging a ball and chain of sin that doesn't help. However these special ladies promised me coke and Beth Moore. How do you say no to that? I am a huge fan of Beth Moore bible studies so I hid my insecurities and was prepared to take in the Word. One of my favorite things about Beth is she always says one thing that stabs my soul. To no fail she did just that and it took everything to hold in the tears. I just didn't want these women to wonder why the new girl was a wreck and what was her dark secret. Amazing the fear that the devil will seep into you when you let him.
So what did she say???
Get thee up.
It slayed me. Me, the woman who wants to hide daily under the covers and who seems to be fighting the darkness a little too much.
Get thee up. I can't out sin God's love. I will never be unworthy of His grace. It's time to fight. It's time to get up.
My group of ladies were beautiful inside and out. So sweet and accommodating. As I was walking out I had a step of pride but the devil tapped my shoulder and whispered "Not so fast." I immediately worried about what would happen when they found out what I did. Instead of the scarlet A I was wearing a T for "THIEF". Dang devil.
Then something weird happened. By weird I mean only designed by God. By something I mean YOU.
Be the end of the night I had been contacted by 5 different random people. Messages and calls of such outpouring. They weren't from my tight knit community either. These were from ladies I don't talk to daily and some whom I haven't talked to since my unraveling. It flooded in from nowhere. Godly inspired words of love, encouragement, and sweet sweet grace. It was simply overwhelming. I will always be thankful that our God placed me on your hearts on that day.
I don't want to sound boastful about this at all because it is actually very humbling. In fact I don't usually share with Philly these messages because it seems a little self serving. However the last one came right as we were about to slumber to sleep. I hear my phone beep a Facebook notice and me being a typical woman couldn't get to it fast enough. I make a snide remark about a "booty call" to which he laughs and exits to the other room. On his entrance back I am weeping my friends. I mean full on attack mode of the Niagara Falls. I try to read it to him but to no avail so I just pass it over. My frIends not only did you comfort me but you comforted him.
Then he rocks me. This man has to rock me to sleep. Never have I felt so deeply loved through you by God.
Get thee up!!!
So what should your take away be from this? Well I have three bullet points for you. (Yes it has come to that.)
1. Find, embrace, and keep a community of the faith. There will be a time in your life when you will need it. A cake from your neighbor may be all well and good but if doesn't come along with a scoop of love from believers it isn't the same. Your community shouldn't only be serving you but they should be filling you with the truth and building you in Christ. In the end that is ALL that matters. (May I just add a side note that this doesn't and shouldn't be exclusive to just your church friends. None of these outpourings came from my Sunday church crew.)
2. One thing can not and should not define you in the eyes of God and your community. It is hard to overcome sin and addictions. It is hard to move on and not see that choice in the mirror reflecting back at you. BUT it isn't you. Pay attention to what God whispers unto your heart and what your community scream at you. (Yes some have screamed! :-) ) You are loved immeasurably by a Father who allowed His own Son to die so He could spend eternity with you. No voice of judgment could ever nor should ever trump that.
3. Let someone rock you. Let someone nurture you. Maybe you don't have a parent or a spouse that is that selfless or physically able to. I never had a dad who kissed my boo boos and fixed my broken heart. Philly may not always be able to give to me that kind of love. But oh my friend I have been hugged, rocked, and comforted by the best. Let God soothe you. Kneel and pour it all out to Him. He wants you to lay it at His feet like sweet perfume. He will soak up the pain, the hurt, and the disappointment, and then He will say,
"Get thee up."
So what did she say???
Get thee up.
It slayed me. Me, the woman who wants to hide daily under the covers and who seems to be fighting the darkness a little too much.
Get thee up. I can't out sin God's love. I will never be unworthy of His grace. It's time to fight. It's time to get up.
My group of ladies were beautiful inside and out. So sweet and accommodating. As I was walking out I had a step of pride but the devil tapped my shoulder and whispered "Not so fast." I immediately worried about what would happen when they found out what I did. Instead of the scarlet A I was wearing a T for "THIEF". Dang devil.
Then something weird happened. By weird I mean only designed by God. By something I mean YOU.
Be the end of the night I had been contacted by 5 different random people. Messages and calls of such outpouring. They weren't from my tight knit community either. These were from ladies I don't talk to daily and some whom I haven't talked to since my unraveling. It flooded in from nowhere. Godly inspired words of love, encouragement, and sweet sweet grace. It was simply overwhelming. I will always be thankful that our God placed me on your hearts on that day.
I don't want to sound boastful about this at all because it is actually very humbling. In fact I don't usually share with Philly these messages because it seems a little self serving. However the last one came right as we were about to slumber to sleep. I hear my phone beep a Facebook notice and me being a typical woman couldn't get to it fast enough. I make a snide remark about a "booty call" to which he laughs and exits to the other room. On his entrance back I am weeping my friends. I mean full on attack mode of the Niagara Falls. I try to read it to him but to no avail so I just pass it over. My frIends not only did you comfort me but you comforted him.
Then he rocks me. This man has to rock me to sleep. Never have I felt so deeply loved through you by God.
Get thee up!!!
So what should your take away be from this? Well I have three bullet points for you. (Yes it has come to that.)
1. Find, embrace, and keep a community of the faith. There will be a time in your life when you will need it. A cake from your neighbor may be all well and good but if doesn't come along with a scoop of love from believers it isn't the same. Your community shouldn't only be serving you but they should be filling you with the truth and building you in Christ. In the end that is ALL that matters. (May I just add a side note that this doesn't and shouldn't be exclusive to just your church friends. None of these outpourings came from my Sunday church crew.)
2. One thing can not and should not define you in the eyes of God and your community. It is hard to overcome sin and addictions. It is hard to move on and not see that choice in the mirror reflecting back at you. BUT it isn't you. Pay attention to what God whispers unto your heart and what your community scream at you. (Yes some have screamed! :-) ) You are loved immeasurably by a Father who allowed His own Son to die so He could spend eternity with you. No voice of judgment could ever nor should ever trump that.
3. Let someone rock you. Let someone nurture you. Maybe you don't have a parent or a spouse that is that selfless or physically able to. I never had a dad who kissed my boo boos and fixed my broken heart. Philly may not always be able to give to me that kind of love. But oh my friend I have been hugged, rocked, and comforted by the best. Let God soothe you. Kneel and pour it all out to Him. He wants you to lay it at His feet like sweet perfume. He will soak up the pain, the hurt, and the disappointment, and then He will say,
"Get thee up."
With endless love,
Kristie
Kristie
P.S. To you five ladies; you will never understand what you did for me. I was able to breathe one more day. Thank you.
P.S.S. Beth Moore bible study is Children Of The Day.
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